A Woman to Know: Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon
If you wait for the right time, there’s never a right time. — Phyllis Lyon
If you wait for the right time, there’s never a right time. — Phyllis Lyon
(image via The New York Public Library)
Del and Phyllis met in 1950. In 1952, they became lovers. In 1953, they moved to San Francisco together. In 2004, after 50-plus years of romance, activism and organizing, they finally got married in San Francisco’s first-ever legal same-sex wedding.
In the decades before the two tied the knot, they were icons of the LGBTQ+ rights movement. Together they co-founded the legendary lesbian organization, Daughters of Bilitis, and edited its popular newsletter, “The Ladder.” In 1972, they founded the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club, the first LGBTQ+ political organization in the United States. Del Martin was the first open lesbian elected to the board of the National Organization for Women, and she was one of the founders of the Lesbian Mothers Union.
Even as seniors, the two women remained active in politics. In 1989, they joined Old Lesbians Organizing for Change and in 1995, they were asked to serve delegates to the White House Conference on Aging, where they spoke about the experiences of LGBTQ+ seniors.
Del died in August of 2008, just two months after she legally wed Phyllis Lyon for the second time. Phyllis passed away in 2020, five years after the Supreme Court ruled gay marriage legal across the country.
In 2004, a reporter asked about the secret to their long-lasting relationship.
“We love each other,” Lyon shrugs. “That helps.”
“Plus,” Martin says, “we like to do the same things.”
Like what?
They turn toward each other. “Organize,” Lyon says, cracking up.
Add to your library list:
Lesbian/Woman (Del Martin & Phyllis Lyons)
Making Gay History: The Half-Century Fight for Lesbian and Gay Equal Rights (Eric Marcus)
Different Daughters: A History of the Daughters of Bilitis (Marcia M. Gallo)
When You Look Out the Window: How Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin Built a Community (Gayle E. Pitman)
Read more:
Just Married, After 51 Years Together (The Washington Post)
The Daughters of Bilitis (The Library of Congress)
Lesbian Activists and Gay Marriage Trailblazers (The New York Times)
She and her wife were activists and mentors before there was a movement or community (The Guardian)
Where can you be safe and be yourself? (The Smithsonian Museum of American History)
Hear more:
Del Martin & Phyllis Lyon (Making Gay History)
Watch more:
Send your own recommendations for women to know! Reply to this newsletter with your lady and she could be featured in an upcoming edition.